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Carne Vale - Flesh Farewell Chapter 2
Rick Waters left town with a carnival to escape the sentence handed down on his twenty first birthday by a judge in Palmer. He was going to be free, but at what cost.
Chapter Two
The road from the courthouse to Ludlow was ten miles long and followed
the Chicopee River West. It crosses water three times on its way
towards Rick's home and the first bridge was just a mile down the road
from the courtroom in Three Rivers.
Rick stopped to look over
the edge. Below, the Quabog river meets up with the Swift and Ware,
spilling together into the Chicopee behind the Tampax factory that many
of the villagers relied on for a living. Below the bridge the waters of
the Quabog were low and you could see much of the limestone riverbed
that would contain the waters when they were high. There is no dam
here, and the rivers cut holes and pockets into the stone as it pools
above the flat surface of the limestone.
Trees cling to the
sides of the river bank precariously situated in between the river and
the village's buildings. Here, three rivers converge into one, on their
way to Long Island Sound by way of the Connecticut River. The rivers
were low because the winter had been warm. Each day the sun had come up
and melted what ice had formed at the edge of the river at night and
now it was gone. With the sun beginning to wane in the sky Rick
realized that unless he got moving he would still be on the road after
dark. He began to walk West, not wanting to stay at the edge of the
railing for much longer unless to test his own will to continue now
that his future was out of his control.
The youngest of four,
Rick had inherited the best of both parents, one Irish and one French.
His baby face was handsome and his thick black hair was unruly, like
him. His eyes were blue and gray. Some days they were the deepest blue
and on others they were a pale, slate gray. He had known that his eyes
were special, they had captivated people in the past. Strangers would
stop and say the nicest things or look deeply into them and smile.
His
parents were each born into large families that had overcome the
ravages of depression to achieve the new American dream. Irish,
Portuguese, and Polish families moved to Ludlow to begin their own
American dream and Rick's dad brought his young family to Ludlow for
its schools and clean neighborhoods. When Rick was three his died in a
car accident and as he grew up from child to boy he couldn't stop
thinking about how different his life would be if only his father were
still alive.
There had been a long list of counselors to get
over the loss, or to get over drinking. His past was littered with
appointments made and missed. The state had ordered his attendance at
various group meetings to learn about his behavior and how it was
affecting his life. The whole idea was to give a drunk something to do
so he doesn't drink, right? After all, how good can it be for a guy to
continuously talk about something in order not do it? It eludes me how
that's supposed to work.
In the meetings he had attended in the past Rick would describe his past as if it were someone else.
"I have love in my life."
"I love ice cream, that's a love."
"I love my dog more than I do ice cream, there's emotion involved."
"I sometimes have no idea what love is all about."
"I heard it at home but didn't quite believe it."
"I love you."
"Your
mother screwed us all." My oldest brother would say. he stopped loving
too. He stopped so hard that he fell into depression and desperation
and sorrow. He was, after all, only 12. He was in the car the night his
father died, "Wasn't he?" You would have to ask him yourself if you can
find him.
"Your mother is your Mother." That's my other brother,
the middle child. Just enough opinion to hurt himself with his own
words. The middle child goes unreported, undiscovered. This son made
it. Made it through his life not without trouble, strife, fights,
obscene drunkenness, but without the legal issues which can takes days,
months, and years from those who do it differently.
"You just
leave your mother out of this." There she is, the oldest child and only
daughter. I do not care if you eat green eggs and ham, I just don't
give a damn. She was lucky to be the first to leave the house. Ten
years my senior, There's not much interaction, attraction, or loss. The
opinion I have today is that she could have done better. On the inside.
No
matter where we were there was loss for me. The days of my youth were
appropriately filled with enough joy to consider it a happy childhood,
but life is only as good as we believe it is and for me life was just a
procession of days and nights and months and years where I wished for a
moment that he was there. I had dreams and visions and pain that would
fall upon me and push away my love. Push it back to a place where it
became lust, where it became desire. My desire to never want to love
again was strong.
My life as a teenager was spent doing what I
wanted to do. By now, the home that I shared with my mother and my
brother was more a hotel than a home. The rarity of having the three of
us together at once inside the walls was staggering. While mom worked
and my brother had his friends, I had mine. In the neighborhood,
exploring around town, starting trouble with a neighbor or something
like that, in a place where everyone knew your name I was nameless and
the days progressed. I believe something was happening inside of me, or
something was not happening inside of me. I learned to care less than I
should. I let the lack of caring take me down paths I should not have
gone. I could have been the best at something early on in life but I
was not.
I was sixteen and on my way to Texas for the second
time. It had been decided that a trip to Texas would fix all the
problems I was dealing with at home. My grades were a mess. Summer
school in Houston was supposed to fix me up and get me back on track.
But my body was searching for my first experience, and during that
summer I got exactly what I wanted.
It was a great summer for
most of the time I was in Houston. I did exactly what I wanted to do
outside of attending and passing the summer school program at Cy Creek.
I did what was expected of me and I did more than that. That was the
summer of my first sexual encounters with a woman. She had platinum
hair and a funny smile and she let me in. She let me in whenever I
could. She let me whenever I should not. She let me in and let me in
and never thought about the day I would leave. Until it was close and
the questions about what we were supposed to do were real. Now she says
she's pregnant. Now she wants me more than ever before and I'm not sure
what to want. My love was not for her but for the experience. I wanted
to stay. I ran away and stayed in an abandoned house just wanting to
stay. I did not stay though, and she was not pregnant. I was found and
shipped home early. Love eluded for the first time.
Back home
things quickly became usual again. By now it was just me and mom in the
house. I was happy for that adjustment and I do not know if it happened
before, or after I came home from Texas, but now that Brennan had been
married and moved out, I began to notice that there was more that I
wanted and had no plan to achieve than I ever realized before. Now was
the time I should have been working on getting ahead, but I decided to
stay the same. Just wanting something I could not have. My love deluded
me.
I stopped caring again. It was easy to do. The things that
should come naturally did not. Jobs, independence, friends, they all
belonged to someone else. I worked and got fired for lack of caring, or
lack of attendance. My first attempt at getting my driver's license I
went the wrong way into the DMV parking and failed. These were the
years that my path led me the most. But now I see it was me. I kept
myself from achieving by not caring enough to succeed, to persevere. I
had a crutch and I was using it on the inside. Whenever I could I would
smoke to get high, drink to get drunk, and if I could do it with a
friend I was satisfied. I had given enough already, and I just wanted
to do what I wanted to do.
"Now Talk About It"
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The Flesh Farewell Trilogy Began 11/01/09
November was National Novel Writing Month and the folks at Nanowrimo attracted more novelists than ever before, Powerfitz author FD Walsh included. Carne Vale - Flesh Farewell was created during the competition and since winning the event held at Nanowrimo, Powerfitz Publishing has been hard at work inserting chapters from the book on the web for free. To read Carne Vale - Flesh Farewell, Book #1 on Facebook
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(Google Group) FTC 16 CFR Part 225
Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in AdvertisingThe above internet address connects you to an eighty one page .pdf document from the Federal Trade Commission describing the procedures that they went through to come up with a new guide for "Truth in Advertising", especially online.
Inside is the debate of a Federal Trade Commission inquiry into false advertising and the internet. The discussions that the Federal Trade Comission had with respondents who either complained about "The Guide" or offered their expertise in the debate are detailed on the pages of this FTC report. After reading the document, you will find that the debate takes away some of the freedoms that had been previously enjoyed by internet publishers, bloggers, writers, and advertisers. With the new, proposed changes, not only will the product maker be adversely treated for making unfounded claims about a product, but the publisher, the endorser, and the celebrity endorsement of the product could be busted for false advertising.
"Blogger, advertisers, writers, webmasters, HTML, CSS, programmers, coders, and anyone who has a hand in placing an ad or a recommendation about a product could find themselves paying far more than any benefits they garnished from the product maker for making the recommendation, ad post, or endorsement if the product proves unable to live up to the hype.
Inside "The FTC Guide", you will read what constitutes "Fair Advertising" and how the "average" person should be able to achieve any goal that is purported to be achievable by the product. The most noteworthy products that could be the first to go under the knife of these new regulations are in the weight-loss, and money-making industries. Highly advertised, these products could fall far short of their advertisements when the consumer purchases the product and attempts to achieve the same results as the endorsement. If they are unable, according to the ad, to get out of the product what the advertisement said, they would have a claim under these new guides for restitution and even punitive damages. "And forget about just going after the product maker, or the designer of the ad."
Every Publisher, blogger, product maker, celebrity, and product advertisement will come under this new umbrella of fair advertising.
"Read it." "Find out how it affects your business, new opportunities, or the way you speak online." "Don't get five years down the road to figure out there are rules out there that are being enforced, but not followed, by your team of online creators, website, or blog."
@awewriter '09
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